Befriending the Paranormal
by Part-Time Robot
Summary: Squee's parents send him to a different school hoping he'll get lost coming home, but they never expected him to actually make a friend. [JCV crossover. Chapter 2 up, on indefinite hiatus.]
1. New School, New Friends

( Author's Notes: This story is a little something I scribbled down in school and just embellished on after reading my Squee comics one day. I don't know how frequently this will be updated, probably as often as my Johnny-Sue story, but I hope you enjoy, since this is my first time in a long while at trying at an actual plot. )

"To be honest, we're tired of seeing you come home every day. That's why we transferred you to the school in the next town. We're hoping that the longer walk home will get you lost," Mr. Casil said as he slowed to a stop. His son Todd, better known as Squee for the squeaking noises he made when frightened, looked from the strange new building back to his uninterested father. He looked almost eager for him to get out of the car.

"But Daddy, I..."

"Glad you're excited. Go on, and try to remember to get as lost as possible on your way home," said Mr. Casil, ignoring his son's protest. He began to pull away from the curb before Squee was fully out of the car, causing him to fall on his face.

What a great way to begin the year.

Picking himself up, Squee looked at his new school. It looked almost exactly like his old school, a squat two-story brick building with a large playground in back. The sign above the double doors read "Skool." Well, it was a definite improvement from "Scool." Taking a deep breath as if he were going underwater, Squee pushed the doors open and walked inside his new skool.

After a brief visit in the office, Squee found himself in Ms. Bitters' classroom. She looked like his old teacher as well; the schools must've been cloned from one another, or something of that sort. Looming over him, she began to introduce Squee to the class. "Class, I'd like to introduce the latest hopeless deadweight to the doomed pile of our student body. His name is Todd."

Looking out towards his new classmates, Squee was relieved to see that they appeared friendly. Normal too, except for one kid who sat on the left side of the room. He was wearing a long, dark red shirt that almost looked like a dress, black boots, and black gloves. But to Squee, his clothes weren't the surprising thing—he had green skin! For all he knew, this kid could've had a bout of flu, but still. Green skin was a rather odd occurrence.

The boy on the opposite side of the room had a slightly larger head than everyone else, but he looked completely normal compared to the green-skinned kid.

Ms. Bitters looked down at Squee. "Take a seat now, Todd. I hope you're as well-behaved as you look, because if you mess up, the rest of your year will be _a living nightmare!_" Her threat was enough to make him utter a trademark "squee" and hurry towards the back of the classroom. Sliding into an empty seat, Squee trembled with fear. Yes, she most certainly was cloned from his old teacher; there was no doubt about it. Since he had not been assigned a locker or anything of the sort, he just slid his backpack underneath his chair for later, still shaking.

"Now class, today we will be continuing with our experiments on inserting objects into the human bloodstream. Everyone get out your objects that you brought from home."

- - - - -

Before Squee knew it, it was lunchtime. He was relieved to see the lesson end. Ms. Bitters had pulled a boy named Melvin to the front of the classroom and, just as she said, inserted the various objects the students had brought into his bloodstream. Squee couldn't bear to watch the actual insertion process, but from Melvin's screams and how disheveled he looked afterward, he assumed it was quite painful. The first day at his new skool was shaping up to be an interesting, if not downright frightening, one.

Since hell would freeze over before his parents would give him any money, it was up to Squee to pack his own lunch. His lunch was usually pretty simple—a sandwich, some juice, a piece of fruit or some chips. It was small, but still filling, and Squee was now hungry. He grabbed his lunch bag from under his chair and edged his way into the crowd of students heading towards the cafeteria.

Always smaller than most kids his age, Squee had a bit of difficulty going down the hallway without being jostled a bit, but eventually he made it to the cafeteria unharmed. Looking around, he noticed all but two of the tables were full. At one table was the kid with the green skin Squee had noticed earlier; at the other sat the boy with the large head. He was sitting with a purple-haired girl who was enthralled in a handheld video game. Like in the classroom, they were sitting at opposite ends. Since the boy with the green skin was picking at his food with bored interest and made Squee nervous, the other table seemed much more favorable. He sat down at the far end of the table and began to eat his lunch.

Meanwhile, Dib stared intently across the cafeteria. "Look at him, Gaz. Sitting there, just picking at his food, thinking he's so..._normal_."

"Everyone picks at their lunch, Dib. Now be quiet," Gaz said, not taking her eyes from the Game Slave's illuminated screen.

Dib looked at his sister, frowning in disbelief. "Oh, come on! It actually bears a semblance to real food today! You'd think Zim would at least _try_ to appear normal and eat the stuff."

Gaz opened an eye, glaring at Dib. "And maybe you'd appear normal if you'd eat your lunch and stop staring at Zim."

"You just don't..." Dib's voice trailed off as something moved at the opposite end of the table. Blinking, he moved his head so he could see around Gaz. There was someone sitting at the other end. He tapped Gaz's shoulder and motioned towards the opposite end. "Is someone actually sitting at our table?"

Gaz briefly looked up from her Game Slave to glance at the far end of the table, then turned back as if it was an everyday thing. "He must be new. Nobody who's been here more than a day would think of you as normal."

"Actually, Gaz, I think he is," Dib said, ignoring her last comment. "Ms. Bitters was talking about a new transfer student this morning, but he was so quiet that we forgot he was even there. What's his name—Todd?" He tapped his chin for a minute. "Wonder if there's something wrong with him."

"That would be one thing you'd have in common," Gaz said, finally getting up and leaving Dib alone at the table. He frowned at her as she walked away, then stood up and walked down to the other end of the table.

- - - - -

Squee absentmindedly took a bite of his sandwich, staring unfocusedly at his food. Today had been too fast for him. It had started out normally; getting up, eating breakfast, getting dressed, preparing to go to school, and then all of a sudden, Daddy told him he was going to a whole new school. Of course, he didn't have to look at this so negatively. Nobody knew who he was, so he wasn't picked on...but of course, this was his first day. They'd find out soon enough. But then again, there was no more Pepito lurking around. Going to school with the Antichrist wasn't exactly thrilling.

A voice then snapped Squee out of his reverie: "Hey, what're you doing down here all by yourself?"

Looking up, Squee found himself face-to-face with the boy from the other end of the table. "SQUEE!" he squeaked, scattering his lunch as he flailed in shock from this sudden appearance. Putting a hand over his chest, he tried to calm down, receiving strange looks from his visitor. "Uh...sorry, um...eating my lunch?"

The boy sat down across from Squee, pointing a long finger at him. "You're that new transfer student in my class. Todd, right?"

"Uh-huh," said Squee. Maybe he thought it would've been better if he didn't know him by his nickname, as he didn't jump in to correct the boy immediately. He was too surprised that someone was actually talking to him in a friendly way. Maybe they would actually turn out to be friends, he hoped.

He nodded. "Thought so. I'm Dib, by the way."

Squee brightened. "Oh, you're the one with the weird head at the front of my row!" He then looked downwards as he saw an irritated expression cross Dib's face. "Oops."

"Yeah, that's me, I guess," Dib sighed. "I don't think my head's _that_ big...anyway, why are you sitting here at my table? Not to sound rude or anything, but why'd you pick this table out of all the others? Nobody ever sits here."

Looking around the cafeteria, Squee pointed out towards the occupied tables. "Most of the tables in here were full, and the other empty one...well, the green kid at that table, he's just spooky." He pointed to the table, where Zim was waving some glowing piece of metal over his ketchup and rice.

Dib perked up at the mention of "the green kid." "Green kid? You mean Zim?" He looked over his shoulder, then back, smiling to himself. Here was a new kid, with no idea what the others thought of him and no reputation preceding him. He also looked quite impressionable. Maybe he could actually fill Todd here in on Zim's true identity so he could prepare himself as well. He leaned in towards Squee, motioning for him to lean in as well. "Let me tell you something. Zim over there is no normal kid, as much as he thinks he is."

"He isn't?" Squee asked, his eyes full of confusion. "You mean he has more than the flu?"

"The flu...? No, not that. It's something bigger than the flu. Zim is..." Dib looked around, hoping no one else was listening so he wouldn't have to deal with insanity accusations. "Zim's an alien. Now, I know what you're thinking," he said quickly, holding his hands up as if to protect himself from any personal attacks, "but it's true. Everyone thinks I'm crazy because of this, but you believe me, right?" He looked at Squee hopefully.

Squee pondered for a moment. Aliens had been in his house on more than one occasion. He had also met his "future self," a giant dust mite had taken up residence in his bedroom, a homicidal maniac lived next door to his house, his teddy bear absorbed his nightmares, and he was friends with the son of Satan. After all of these encounters, an alien in the skool didn't seem too unbelievable. "Yeah, I believe you, Dib," he said. "I've seen scarier things."

Dib raised an eyebrow. This was certainly a breath of fresh air. Usually he would be met with strange looks, cries of "man, you're _crazy_!", or in rare cases, someone running away. "Um...okay. Well, I guess I'll explain to you everything that's been going on, then."

For the rest of the lunch period, Squee listened as Dib told him of the different encounters he had with Zim. Flooding the earth (where _was_ he when this happened?), trapping him in a time warp, being threatened by fellow members of his race...it was no more unreal than what Squee experienced at home. But still, it was something to think about.

- - - - -

The bell rang, indicating the end of another day as kids left the skool in droves. All in all, Squee thought that his first day was a rather good one. True, someone with a reputation for being crazy had told him that one of their classmates was actually an alien, complete with detailed supporting reasons, but Squee believed him. When both you and your parents have been abducted by aliens, there is no doubt in your mind that they exist. After all, just as he said, stranger things had happened.

However, he couldn't help but notice that Dib had been unusually nice to him. Well, nicer than most kids had treated him, anyway. Maybe, just maybe, he had actually made a friend? One that didn't have spooky demonic powers or killed people on an everyday basis? The thought alone made Squee look forward to the next day a little bit.

Looking up, Squee realized that he was home. The walk home didn't take as long as his parents had suspected; at the most, it was only ten minutes longer. He could tell his parents were disappointed when he opened the door, but as usual, he didn't notice. His mind was too preoccupied with what might happen tomorrow.

"Dear, who's that little boy that just walked through the door?"

Squee could hear his father's exasperated sigh as he made his way upstairs. "He's your son! For God's sake, which of those damn pills make you forget that everyday?"


	2. Out to Lunch

( Author's Notes: I'm having fun writing this story. Yay. There may be some mild OOC-ness during this chapter, but if there is, I'll have a reason for it, I promise. Anyway, enjoy! )

"You mean you've actually had aliens in your house?" Dib said with genuine interest as he watched Squee pull a group of books from his locker. Squee had been in skool for a few weeks now, and over those few weeks, the two had become good friends. With Dib's knowledge of the paranormal and Squee's unintentional experience with it, it was no wonder that the two got along so well. For Dib, hearing Todd's (he had never told Dib that he was called "Squee" at his old school) stories was just as exciting as seeing them happen. There were so many things he never imagined happening in the next town!

Squee slammed his locker door in an attempt to close it, but failed, as it sprang back open almost immediately. The lockers in the skool didn't seem to be in very good condition at all. "Uh-huh. Twice." He tried to shut the door again, this time succeeding, and picked up his books, stuffing them into his bookbag. "The first time they did some spooky things to my head. Really spooky. The second time they took my parents. They don't remember, but I think the aliens did some spooky stuff to them too."

"Were they the same kind as Zim?" Dib asked eagerly.

"I don't think so."

Dib was disappointed, but only slightly. He would've loved to see more aliens like Zim, but from what he had gathered, not even the other Irkens liked Zim. They wouldn't come to Earth for just anything. The two began walking to the door, ready to go home and escape skool for yet another day. "How come none of this ever happens to me? You're so lucky. Aliens in your house, ghosts in your room...either I move into your house, or you move over here," Dib said wistfully. He pushed open the skool's front door and stepped out into the bright sunlight.

Squee raised his eyes to talk to Dib, since Dib was almost a head taller than he was. "Well...it was fun having my parents away for a while, but all this weird stuff happening to you gets old. It's like someone with a sick sense of humor is running my life." He laughed nervously, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Maybe for someone like you, it would be fun, but for me, it's..." His voice trailed off as he spotted a familiar gray car parked in front of the school, and with a "squee," he ducked behind Dib in fear.

"What's wrong? Why're you hiding behind me?" Dib said, twisting around to look at Squee. He clutched onto Dib's coat, trembling as he pointed towards the gray car.

"It's him, the scary neighbor man! I thought he moved away!" Squee peeked out from behind his friend's body, hoping that the tall, lanky figure in the car couldn't see him. "Why's he here?"

The man in the car was looking out at the crowd of skoolkids, his impossibly skinny arm dangling out the open window. There was no doubt he was looking for someone. Dib frowned, turning around to look at Squee again. "Oh, come on! He doesn't look that scary! Not compared to the other stuff you've supposedly seen!"

Shaking his head furiously, Squee let go of Dib's coat. "No, no, you don't understand! He really is scary! He lives next door to me, and almost every night you can hear really bad sounds coming from his house. He has a tunnel coming into my house, and when we first moved in, I found him in my bathroom, going through our stuff! Right before he moved away, he came into my room and knocked my daddy in the head with one of my toys! Schmee said he chops people up and throws them in the trash can! SQUEE!" He finished with a squeak as he noticed the man looking in his direction.

Apparently, Johnny C. had found who he was looking for. Smiling, he got out of his car and crossed the street, glad to see his little neighbor friend for the first time in a long while. "Hey, Squeegee! It's been a while, hasn't it?" he called, waving as he made his way towards the trembling little boy. "You wouldn't believe it. I was sitting at the other school for a good couple of hours when I realized you weren't there. I went to your house and asked your mother where you were—luckily, she was too drugged up on her usual pills to be worried. Oh, and who's this you're hiding behind?" Johnny said, seemingly noticing Dib for the first time.

"Um...this is Dib. He's my friend," Squee said in a low voice.

"Friend?" Johnny raised an eyebrow. He was very suspicious when it came to Squee's "friends"; they weren't usually a very nice or trustworthy bunch. They usually only wanted to humiliate poor Squee or laugh at him for no reason. He began to scrutinize Dib for any potential signs—so far he was quiet, and he looked nice, but Johnny knew all too well that a nice exterior could have an ugly interior. After a moment, he seemed to approve, because he extended his hand with a smile. "Well, nice to meet you. I'm Johnny, but you can call me Nny if you'd like."

Taking the offered hand, Dib shook it and said, "Yeah. Like he said, I'm Dib."

This concerned Squee. Why was the neighbor man being so friendly all of a sudden? Normally he never left his house, or even talked to anyone. This was strange, and deep down, Squee hoped he wasn't going to kill either of them. It didn't matter how friendly he tried to be. He was still scary, just by looks alone. All of those strange and somewhat sickening sounds coming from next door made him even more frightening.

"Glad to see you've made a friend who isn't the spawn of Satan," Johnny said off-handedly. Dib threw Squee an inquiring look, but he kept his eyes on Johnny, worried. "I know you've had lunch already, but damn if that skool food isn't inedible. How would you like to go get some real food? I'll pay."

_How does he get his money, anyway?_ Squee thought. He tried to think of an excuse, but all he could do was stammer a response. "Well...erm..." He looked over to Dib, wondering if it would be a good idea.

Shrugging, Dib said, "He's right. It was tuna and relish today. I'm hungry anyway, and I know you are, too." Squee couldn't deny it; he _was_ pretty hungry. Lunch came too early in the morning for the kids. Who'd ever heard at eating lunch at 10:30 in the morning? "Who knows what time I'm having dinner tonight, and your parents don't even bother cooking for you half the time. Besides," he lowered his voice, "he doesn't seem as scary as you describe him."

Squee looked down, turning the thoughts over in his mind. No, he didn't know if his parents were even cooking dinner tonight. Mommy would probably have too many pills in her to cook, and Daddy would just get fed up and take her out to dinner. They would probably bring him back a doggie bag, but most of the time, they were gone too late for him to wait up. There was always food in the house, but it was mostly canned soup and microwave pizzas, and quite frankly, he was sick of them. If he went out to eat, Dib would be there to keep him company, and the scary neighbor man wouldn't hurt him if he was there. Not that he had ever tried. Finally, he looked up, smiling. "Okay. Let's go."

The two climbed into the backseat of Johnny's car, shoving aside trash he had carelessly tossed onto the seat. "I say Taco Hell. What do you think, Squee?" Johnny said, shifting the car into gear and driving away.

"That's fine," Squee said, folding his hands into his lap and looking down into the floor.

_Squee? _Dib thought. _Where in the world did that name come from?_ He looked over at his friend, who looked absolutely terrified. _I don't get it. I can understand some of the things he's scared of, but this guy seems pretty harmless. I mean, he looks anorexic and he looks like he's been to Hell and back. How could he beat up Sq—Todd's dad?_

They came to a stop in front of the local Taco Hell, where the usual lunch crowd was beginning to dissipate. Johnny opened his door and climbed out, and so did Dib, but Squee was rather reluctant to get out of the car. He followed the two into the restaurant, and stood beneath the metal fencing that kept the eager customers in order as they ordered. He hadn't even thought about what he wanted to eat until Dib poked him. "Your turn. What're you getting?"

"Oh. Um..." He was a bit too short to see over the counter, so he stood on his toes to glance at the menu mounted on the wall behind it. "I guess I want the quesadilla combo...and a small drink." He always worried about ordering meals that cost too much whenever someone bought him lunch, but Johnny didn't seem to mind. He silently paid the cashier and took their meals without saying thank you.

"Yeah, you're welcome, you skinny prick," the cashier muttered. Johnny felt himself tense up at the overwhelming hate towards other human beings, but he was determined not to scare off Squee and his friend today. There was plenty of time to come back and disembowel the new workers later. He sat the tray down at a booth near the back of the dining area and slid into the seat. Squee and Dib sat down opposite to him.

"So. What's this about you going to a different school?" Johnny said, giving Squee a look as he bit into his taco. "Did your parents get fed up with you again?"

Chewing his quesadilla, Squee finally looked up and stared at Johnny in the face for the first time. He had looked a lot different since the last time he'd seen him. His hair had finally grown back, and he looked even paler and skinner than normal. Squee remembered him saying that he was going on a little holiday for a while...he didn't want to know where the trip was. He had enjoyed Johnny being gone, but it just hadn't seemed normal without him next door. "I...I think so. Daddy said something about me not getting lost coming home from school, and he wanted to put me in the next town."

Johnny nodded. "I see. That's a shame, though you are away from those horrible little trolls you called classmates. That's good, isn't it?"

"Uh-huh."

Meanwhile, Dib listened to the conversation, trying to look uninterested. He couldn't help but feel bad for Squee; his parents sounded awful. His dad didn't exactly qualify for Parent of the Year either, but at least he was there, whether in person or not, and gave him and Gaz what they needed. It was as if Squee's parents were trying to act like they never had a kid in the first place. He thought this over until he heard Johnny's voice addressing him: "So...uh, Dib, was it? You live around here, right?"

He snapped out of his thoughts immediately. "Huh? Oh, yeah. I live a few blocks away from the skool."

Johnny tilted his head slightly, blinking. "You look pretty familiar."

Dib smiled. "My dad's Professor Membrane."

"I thought so. Are you interested in science, too?"

Dib's smile grew even wider. "Not quite. I'm actually planning on becoming a paranormal investigator. It's sort of my specialty. Did you know that there's a real live alien going to our skool? It's true! Ask Todd!"

For the second time, Johnny raised an eyebrow. Interesting kid. "I...see. Well, I think it's time we left." He stood up, intentionally leaving the tray on the table. He smirked to himself as the cashier called after him.

"Hey, you idiot, we aren't busboys!" He'd be fun to kill later on. Johnny made a mental note to come back later tonight, while it was still fresh. Hopefully he'd catch him before his shift was over.

With Dib giving directions, he was able to take him home and drop him off before it was dark. "Bye, Todd! See you tomorrow," Dib said as he got out of the car. After he walked in the house and shut the front door, Johnny turned around to face the backseat.

"Hey, Squee? Do you mind getting up front while I take you home?"

_Squee._ "Um...I guess not," he said, climbing out and re-entering the car through the passenger's side. He slid in and fastened his seatbelt, and Johnny took off, driving towards the next town.

"You're probably wondering why I came looking for you," he said, glancing at Squee every few moments. Squee's silence told him to go on. "We both know your parents aren't the caring type. Hell, nobody's really looking out for you except for me and that creepy little devil kid. But you aren't at that school anymore, and when I didn't see you walking home today, I got concerned. I wanted to make sure you were alright, and make sure that your parents hadn't committed you again. People in this world...well, they're insects." His face started to gain the look of hatred he usually got whenever he talked about his distaste for the human race. "They want to infest your mind and take away any shred of innocence you possess or hurt you just to satisfy their pathetic little selves. While it's your parents who should be telling you this, I figured they wouldn't be doing it any time soon."

Squee watched him silently. He had gotten a similar type of lecture before Johnny had left on his trip, but what was he talking about?

Johnny sighed. "I'm rambling, I suppose. I really should stop doing that. Anyway, now that you're in a new place, you should be aware what those kids can do to you. You should know, from those despicable monsters at your old school. You need to look out for yourself, especially with your new friend. He might not be there with his...fascinating knowledge of the paranormal to back you up one day." It seemed to be perfect timing, because as soon as he finished, he slowed to a stop in front of Squee's house.

All too ready to leave, Squee grabbed his bag and hurriedly climbed out of the car, for once glad that he was home. "Um, thank you for the lunch. And for the ride. That was...nice of you," he said softly. Even though he was still scared of Johnny, he managed to give him a weak smile.

Smiling back, Johnny said, "No problem, Squeegee. Remember what I said, alright? I'll keep my eye out for you, just in case." He watched Squee go into the house before pulling into his driveway next door and retreating into his house.

Once inside, Squee sighed. The house was empty, just as he expected, but it didn't bother him. Johnny was back, and he was slightly more frightened than usual. He would look out, just as he was told, but not for other people. He would look out for the scary neighbor man, and decided not to tell Dib about their conversation the next day. Some things were best left alone.


End file.
